I am Lait-tit-ia, queen of all nourishment. My breasts flow with white delight. I am abundance and plenty.
Well, this is basically true. I've always had large breasts. Before I got pregnant, I was rocking 38DDs. This is something I apparently get from my dad's side of the family, not my mom's (and no, Kimba, this wasn't directed at you - my mom states this almost daily as in, "You sure didn't get those from ME!"). Anyway, now that I'm nursing... Well, they warn you that your cup size will increase 1-4 sizes. Guess which way I went! Yup, I'm now a 38I. I. As in ice cream. I bought a couple of nursing bras before I had the baby and guessing from my measurements then, I ended up with 44Fs. But pregnancy expands your rib cage in weird ways and after you have the baby your torso returns to its normal dimensions. So the 44Fs fit okay in the cups, but are huge otherwise and offer basically no support. I took my measurements, bought a couple of more accurately sized bras online, and now I'm waiting for sweet relief. Because you think you can buy 38I-sized bras anywhere in real life? Maybe somewhere but not so much here.
This is how bad it is. Liftoff Baby likes pacifiers. They gave him one at the hospital he really likes, so I went online and bought more of them, including a variety that's - get this - vanilla scented. We were trying it out this morning after I fed him expressed breast milk in a bottle and he spit it out and it kind of went flying, but I was too intent on cleaning up spit up to notice where. I forgot about it. We went out to lunch and to a farmer's market and I got home and decided to pump. Upon lifting my shirt I looked down into my bra and saw this bright orange latex vanilla-scented pacifier resting peacefully in my bra between my breasts. I had no idea. I guess it's always a good idea to carry a spare pacifier around in your bra, right? Ahem...
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Evolution didn't create perfection
I have very strong feelings in the creationism vs. evolution debate. I even have a Charles Darwin pendant, although here in west Michigan I'd be kind of scared to wear it around (I have, but LG has relatives who are young earth creationists (really!) and it just would muddy some waters that are usually very clear despite our ideological differences). I'm a dyed in the wool evolutionist who's willing to consider that some force may have put evolution into effect, but that it works on its own without constant guidance. I guess I'm a deist, sort of. An agnostic deist. Hm...
Anyway, on the other side of things are people in the homebirth/no vaccines/attachment parenting/rabid breastfeeding until 7 camp, who are evolutionists, but tend to assume that because we evolved, the "natural" way of doing things is what's best for everyone concerned. I can kind of see this when it comes to diet. To a certain extent. But on one of my favorite blogs, Mainstream Parenting Resources, there was recently an excellent post on why what evolved and is natural isn't always the very best approach. It's called Evolution is not an excuse. I agree with the post 100%. Yay science!
I also happen to think that the screwups that have occurred through evolution (Humans can talk, but the physiological changes that took place to allow that make us more likely to choke to death on food! Not-so-intelligent design at work!) demonstrate the non-guidedness involved in the process.
Anyway, on the other side of things are people in the homebirth/no vaccines/attachment parenting/rabid breastfeeding until 7 camp, who are evolutionists, but tend to assume that because we evolved, the "natural" way of doing things is what's best for everyone concerned. I can kind of see this when it comes to diet. To a certain extent. But on one of my favorite blogs, Mainstream Parenting Resources, there was recently an excellent post on why what evolved and is natural isn't always the very best approach. It's called Evolution is not an excuse. I agree with the post 100%. Yay science!
I also happen to think that the screwups that have occurred through evolution (Humans can talk, but the physiological changes that took place to allow that make us more likely to choke to death on food! Not-so-intelligent design at work!) demonstrate the non-guidedness involved in the process.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
On milk
The artificiality of my motherhood is still in place. Liftoff Boy gets breast milk, but he gets it in a bottle, usually 4 ounces at a time. Pumping is a pain, but it's tolerable. I hook myself up (I even got a hands-free bra that I use sometimes) and spend 15 minutes either online or reading, while the pump does its work. Depending on how long it's been since I last pumped, I usually get 4-7 ounces. 4 will go into a bottle and leftover milk will go into storage bags. We have about 220 ounces in deep freeze right now.
LB gets about 24 ounces of milk per day and about 8 ounces of formula, usually over two night feedings. Formula takes longer to digest, so leaves a baby feeling a bit fuller. It also contains vitamin D, which is missing from breast milk. He apparently eats more than he's technically supposed to, but if a baby is nursing from the breast they eat on demand and no record is kept of ounces, so it's hard to know. He shouldn't get more than about 27 ounces of formula right now based on his weight, so the fact that he's getting about 32 ounces of food (both kinds) per day seems high, but they said he'll spit up anything that's actually too much for him.
The milk issue is interesting to me. I've tasted it (gross? but how can you not be curious when your body is making it and you're feeding it to your baby?), and the stuff is sugary. It's also really sticky compared to formula. Something I read compared the flavor to melted vanilla ice cream and that's really close. Bottles of milk in the fridge also tend to separate - the cream rises to the top and I have to shake them before I feed LB. If he were getting the breast, the thin, skim-type stuff would come out first to quench his thirst and then the heavier, fattier stuff would come out near the end of the session. With pumped milk, he's getting it all at once.
LB doesn't nurse directly very often, but occasionally I'll try it, like when he's in the middle of a hunger freak out and his bottle is still cold, or when he's acting ragey for no reason. He'll latch on, rage, try again, finally get a good latch and then mellow out completely as he drinks. Meanwhile, bad mom that I am, I'll sit there feeling trapped with my back hunched into an uncomfortable curve, wondering how this will affect my pumping later on. I'll have my baby in my arms but wish I could spend the time doing something with my brain, like reading or surfing the net. I get bored during bfing, in a way that I don't when I give him a bottle. When I hold the bottle, I'm in control or at least we share control. When he's at the breast, he's totally in control and I feel like a milkslave. With pumping I can be away from him sometimes and measure how much he eats and I produce and feel like I can make decisions about what I'm doing. I like it a lot better, which probably makes me a freak of nature.
This is funny; it happened last night and has happened before. LB had his last bottle before bed, 4 ounces of formula. But then he was too awake and riled up and would only mellow out if he had his pacifier and would scream if it fell out. He was rooting and acting hungry. So I got him out of bed and gave him a bottle with freshly expressed milk in it. He got the nipple in his mouth, looked totally blissed out, and fell asleep. When I took the bottle out, he had drunk about 1/2 an ounce. And that was it. It was like he'd taken a hit of the good stuff and that's all he needed. I put him to bed and he sleep like 'til 4:30am. You can just see his expression, "Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Zzzzzzzz...."
LB gets about 24 ounces of milk per day and about 8 ounces of formula, usually over two night feedings. Formula takes longer to digest, so leaves a baby feeling a bit fuller. It also contains vitamin D, which is missing from breast milk. He apparently eats more than he's technically supposed to, but if a baby is nursing from the breast they eat on demand and no record is kept of ounces, so it's hard to know. He shouldn't get more than about 27 ounces of formula right now based on his weight, so the fact that he's getting about 32 ounces of food (both kinds) per day seems high, but they said he'll spit up anything that's actually too much for him.
The milk issue is interesting to me. I've tasted it (gross? but how can you not be curious when your body is making it and you're feeding it to your baby?), and the stuff is sugary. It's also really sticky compared to formula. Something I read compared the flavor to melted vanilla ice cream and that's really close. Bottles of milk in the fridge also tend to separate - the cream rises to the top and I have to shake them before I feed LB. If he were getting the breast, the thin, skim-type stuff would come out first to quench his thirst and then the heavier, fattier stuff would come out near the end of the session. With pumped milk, he's getting it all at once.
LB doesn't nurse directly very often, but occasionally I'll try it, like when he's in the middle of a hunger freak out and his bottle is still cold, or when he's acting ragey for no reason. He'll latch on, rage, try again, finally get a good latch and then mellow out completely as he drinks. Meanwhile, bad mom that I am, I'll sit there feeling trapped with my back hunched into an uncomfortable curve, wondering how this will affect my pumping later on. I'll have my baby in my arms but wish I could spend the time doing something with my brain, like reading or surfing the net. I get bored during bfing, in a way that I don't when I give him a bottle. When I hold the bottle, I'm in control or at least we share control. When he's at the breast, he's totally in control and I feel like a milkslave. With pumping I can be away from him sometimes and measure how much he eats and I produce and feel like I can make decisions about what I'm doing. I like it a lot better, which probably makes me a freak of nature.
This is funny; it happened last night and has happened before. LB had his last bottle before bed, 4 ounces of formula. But then he was too awake and riled up and would only mellow out if he had his pacifier and would scream if it fell out. He was rooting and acting hungry. So I got him out of bed and gave him a bottle with freshly expressed milk in it. He got the nipple in his mouth, looked totally blissed out, and fell asleep. When I took the bottle out, he had drunk about 1/2 an ounce. And that was it. It was like he'd taken a hit of the good stuff and that's all he needed. I put him to bed and he sleep like 'til 4:30am. You can just see his expression, "Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Zzzzzzzz...."
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Every day is different
Liftoff Boy doesn't do much in terms of establishing patterns. I guess I expected he would sleep at certain times and eat in predictable ways... But instead he's, you know, like any other kid. Yesterday we went to Meijer Gardens and took him around in his stroller and he was wide awake 90% of the time, looking up into the blue sky and the green tree branches and turning his head toward the sound of water and swamp frogs (they sound like an old guitar if it was missing 3 strings and you randomly plucked at what was left). His eyes were wide, he'd look at us as if to say "This is AMAZING!" and then he'd drift off a bit - only to wake up again later, still very impressed.
We got home and LB would not sleep. He was all wound up. Semi-hungry, demanding food and then falling asleep after a few swallows but then waking up again as soon as we'd put him down - and demanding more food. Instead of his 4 ounces or so every 3 hours, he'd want 2 and then 3 and then 1 and the pattern was just blown all to hell. Just as he'd start to drift off, he'd be wide awake again. It was sort of painful to see. I can't remember being his age (just over 3 weeks) but I can remember being a kid and having hyper battle with tired and not being able to sleep.
So he finally fell into a real, deep sleep about 11:30pm. Then was up to eat at 2 and back to sleep pretty easily. Then up at 6 and had a hard time, but finally back to sleep at 7 or so. Then up at 10 and awake for about an hour and a half. It was time for him to eat again at 1, but Liftoff Guy took him and he ate only about an ounce and a half (expressed breast milk) and then fell asleep again. So now the pattern is off. He's sleeping and didn't eat what he's used to so he's probably going to be hungry at some weird time and want less than what he usually eats... And it's going to be tricky.
I think he's making up today for missed sleep yesterday. He's stirring now, but I don't know if he's going to go back to sleep or demand the rest of his lunch. He doesn't know either.
We got home and LB would not sleep. He was all wound up. Semi-hungry, demanding food and then falling asleep after a few swallows but then waking up again as soon as we'd put him down - and demanding more food. Instead of his 4 ounces or so every 3 hours, he'd want 2 and then 3 and then 1 and the pattern was just blown all to hell. Just as he'd start to drift off, he'd be wide awake again. It was sort of painful to see. I can't remember being his age (just over 3 weeks) but I can remember being a kid and having hyper battle with tired and not being able to sleep.
So he finally fell into a real, deep sleep about 11:30pm. Then was up to eat at 2 and back to sleep pretty easily. Then up at 6 and had a hard time, but finally back to sleep at 7 or so. Then up at 10 and awake for about an hour and a half. It was time for him to eat again at 1, but Liftoff Guy took him and he ate only about an ounce and a half (expressed breast milk) and then fell asleep again. So now the pattern is off. He's sleeping and didn't eat what he's used to so he's probably going to be hungry at some weird time and want less than what he usually eats... And it's going to be tricky.
I think he's making up today for missed sleep yesterday. He's stirring now, but I don't know if he's going to go back to sleep or demand the rest of his lunch. He doesn't know either.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
So, I'm writing again....
It's been a while. Things have been super busy, as you might imagine. I'm trying to think how to blog about this briefly...but I'll just jump in and try.
1. Liftoff Boy is here. He was still breech the afternoon of his birth and we went ahead with the c-section. It went really well, amazingly well. I had my music playing (I didn't watch because I felt nauseated at the beginning) and he was born to "When You're Smiling" by Dean Martin. Liftoff Guy watched him come out, cut (okay shortened) the umbilical cord, and didn't get woozy at all. I nursed LB in the recovery room. I didn't get a headache from the spinal, my itching from the morphine was minimal, I didn't get the shakes, I never threw up. LB's apgar scores were 8 and 9, which are awesome. He was 9 pounds, 5 ounces, 18.5 inches long, and had a 15.2 inch circumference head. He's a wonderful little guy. As of yesterday, he was 9 pounds, 12 ounces and 21 inches long! I think his head circumference was 38.2 cm but I haven't translated it yet. Whatever that is, it's 90th percentile.
2. Although the surgery itself had no complications, I did develop a uterine infection that made itself known the day after we came home from the hospital. So there I went, 8 hours in the ER and then 3 more days in the hospital, this time without LB, which was pretty agonizing. LG brought LB and my mom to visit all three days, but it was really difficult. I also developed some weirdness with my blood pressure and am on meds for a while now. Hopefully they'll reduce them on Monday when I go in for a blood pressure check. I had to pump and dump because of one of the antibiotics though.
3. I am a pumping machine. Literally, right now, I am pumping as I type. LB never got the latch thing down, and then he had to be on formula, so right now he's getting 2/3 of his feedings as pumped breastmilk and 1/3 as formula. I'm making a lot and have 50 ounces of formula frozen so far. I hope to give him breastmilk for 6 months and maybe I can stop pumping early and rely on our stores (in the deep freeze now) for the last month or so? This is tedious work, and you have to feed him and then pump and I wake up desperate to pump even if LG has the night feeding covered.
4. LB is a wonderful little boy. Dark hair growing in, indigo eyes that seem to have gray and brown in them (they might end up brown like mine or even hazel, who knows). He's pretty mellow, loves to look around (especially at distant moving things like the ceiling fan or tree branches overhead), and talks to himself as he's falling asleep.
5. I have until August 10 to finish revising an article - this will be challenging, but it's good because a panel I participated on in the fall is looking to get our whole crew published in a journal somewhere. Since I'm up for tenure in the spring, this would be a good thing. Must revise article. Must do research. Oy.
1. Liftoff Boy is here. He was still breech the afternoon of his birth and we went ahead with the c-section. It went really well, amazingly well. I had my music playing (I didn't watch because I felt nauseated at the beginning) and he was born to "When You're Smiling" by Dean Martin. Liftoff Guy watched him come out, cut (okay shortened) the umbilical cord, and didn't get woozy at all. I nursed LB in the recovery room. I didn't get a headache from the spinal, my itching from the morphine was minimal, I didn't get the shakes, I never threw up. LB's apgar scores were 8 and 9, which are awesome. He was 9 pounds, 5 ounces, 18.5 inches long, and had a 15.2 inch circumference head. He's a wonderful little guy. As of yesterday, he was 9 pounds, 12 ounces and 21 inches long! I think his head circumference was 38.2 cm but I haven't translated it yet. Whatever that is, it's 90th percentile.
2. Although the surgery itself had no complications, I did develop a uterine infection that made itself known the day after we came home from the hospital. So there I went, 8 hours in the ER and then 3 more days in the hospital, this time without LB, which was pretty agonizing. LG brought LB and my mom to visit all three days, but it was really difficult. I also developed some weirdness with my blood pressure and am on meds for a while now. Hopefully they'll reduce them on Monday when I go in for a blood pressure check. I had to pump and dump because of one of the antibiotics though.
3. I am a pumping machine. Literally, right now, I am pumping as I type. LB never got the latch thing down, and then he had to be on formula, so right now he's getting 2/3 of his feedings as pumped breastmilk and 1/3 as formula. I'm making a lot and have 50 ounces of formula frozen so far. I hope to give him breastmilk for 6 months and maybe I can stop pumping early and rely on our stores (in the deep freeze now) for the last month or so? This is tedious work, and you have to feed him and then pump and I wake up desperate to pump even if LG has the night feeding covered.
4. LB is a wonderful little boy. Dark hair growing in, indigo eyes that seem to have gray and brown in them (they might end up brown like mine or even hazel, who knows). He's pretty mellow, loves to look around (especially at distant moving things like the ceiling fan or tree branches overhead), and talks to himself as he's falling asleep.
5. I have until August 10 to finish revising an article - this will be challenging, but it's good because a panel I participated on in the fall is looking to get our whole crew published in a journal somewhere. Since I'm up for tenure in the spring, this would be a good thing. Must revise article. Must do research. Oy.
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