Likes and dislikes

1. I like feeling Luke move around, especially now that he actually responds to me - I can sometimes feel a springy body part (I think it's probably a knee, although it could be an elbow) and when I touch it, it retracts and then comes back again. This is fun.

2. I don't like round ligament pain. Feeling like I've been stabbed in the groin is no fun.

3. I like the Home Birth Debate website. Scientific evidence for things is so much more convincing to me than feelings and the "trust birth" attitude. Plus the MD who runs the site has been posting reassuring things about cesarean sections lately.

4. I think these high-heeled baby shoes are loathesome.

5. I have mixed feelings about an upcoming baby shower that Liftoff Guy's mom and sister-in-law are throwing for us. I'm not a fan of showers in general, but when you're starting off with a new baby, there's a certain amount of equipment that needs to be purchased, and it really, really helps when folks contribute. At the same time, it feels greedy, like demanding hand-outs. Then it's weird to be here away from my closest friends and family - most of the guests will be people I've never met from LG's mom's and sil's churches. Gulp. Plus sil was astonished that we wanted it to be co-ed - but I've never met most of these folks. They all know LG, so it would be helpful for him to be there.

And it's LG's baby too! I am exactly 50% of Liftoff Boy's parents - not 90% or even 55%. And LG is a total mensch and extremely home oriented, and I'm the major wage-earner, so I think we're going to have a very balanced approach to parenting. The sexism that seems to be inherent in peoples' responses to a couple having a baby irritates the heck out of me. For instance, it makes no sense to me when a friend of mine refers to her husband "babysitting" their son. How do you "babysit" your own child? It doesn't make sense either when people say, "I'm sure your husband will help with the baby." Why don't they tell him that they're sure I'll help with the baby?

LG told me yesterday that a couple I've never met who are coming to the shower couldn't find us on the registry - probably because they were looking for my first name with LG's last name. I use a hyphenated name legally, so that's what I'm under. I was allowed to choose a second name, so I used my professional name, which is what I teach and publish under. But I'm not known by LG's last name on its own. And then LG's full name is also on the registry. So if they couldn't find us, it means that it didn't occur to them that I might not use a traditional married name and that the registry would be under the husband's name. This irritates me. Then later I got some ad addressed to my first name but LG's last name - I was almost moved to call the company and tell them to correct my name, but it was junk mail. If this happens again, I may put "return to sender - no such person at this address" - but it's junk mail so it doesn't seem worth it.

So anyway, I hope the shower will be fun, and it's always nice when people help make your life easier, but I feel like I'll be the wolf in a flock of sheep, not really one of them, and dangerous with my agnostic, feminist perspectives. Some of LG's geek friends were invited and so maybe that will help. I hope so.